Who left their jar of urine among the holiday decorations?

On the subject of werewolves.

Everyone loves a werewolf, am I right? Can't get enough of their rock hard abs.  Or their bunny-like fur. Cause that's what a werewolf with washboard abs would have, fur you can sink your fingers into. Not bristly gross fur like, say, a monster.

So, here's what I am wondering about these sexy bunny-soft wolfmen.  If they are basically dogs, and they have a highly-attuned sense of smell like dogs, are they perpetually fascinated with what our butts smell like? If that Jacob guy walked in, would he instantly tune in to your butt and assess your hygiene? Cause that's not sexy--well, not to me. That makes him gross.  Like my dog.

But that's just me.

Diving

I always thought diving was such a pretty sport.

Clearly high speed photography is not for everything.

Marketing??

My friend was searching Amazon for trundle beds and this came up at the bottom of her screen.  This says to me that incontinent, overweight, serial killers (that's a mallet that is cut off on the left) like Star-crossed: Secrets.

Alrighty then.  It's always good to have fans!

Move over Chuck Wagon...

I suppose there are worse things to make dog food out of.

Oh wait... no there's not.

A Star is Born

Ladies and Gentleman! 

After 14 months of hard labor, I would like to welcome into the literary world:

Thralled

A one pound, zero ounce sexy paranormal thriller!


Ok, it wasn't really hard labor.  Writing it was mostly heaps of fun.  The publishing part qualified as hard labor but, fortunately, that was just a weekend, not 14 months.  

And I don't really know how much the paperback version weighs since I don't have one in hand yet. But it's going to have a healthy heft to it. 

What's it about, you ask?  Well, let me give you an excerpt: 

A hand, massive and rough with callouses, closed over my mouth, dragging me back into an inescapable embrace. My heart pounded in my ears as I struggled to draw breath through the cracks of his fingers—and in that moment I knew I was screwed.

Careless. Stupid and careless to walk alone at night. Just because I hadn’t heard of an abduction in recent weeks didn’t mean they had stopped.

And here I was … the next victim. Well done, Carla.

Now what?

None of the other victims had been killed, so I had that going for me. But whatever was done to them, they’d come back altered and not in the expected way. According to the papers, their transformation was unusual … whatever that meant. What could this dark presence do to me that would change me like that?

I was about to find out, that was for sure. And I was utterly and completely terrified. Also, I was more than a little bit turned on.

How messed up was that?

 

This is what I feel like when my book is rejected

Because Moo

This post was supposed to be titled, The Query Process, which is a good and proper title for a writing blog and is appropriate since that is what this post was going to be about. But then I started thinking about all the things I needed to do instead of writing a blog post...like editing my query, and editing my book, and starting the next book and writing a play, and prepping for a Quidditch game, and I have a 5th grade reading group in a half hour and cleaning this house up and swimming, because "moo."

And there you have it. The blog title. Moo.

Anyway, I need to talk about the query, since I am writing one. Or editing one. Or getting really frustrated with one. And my friends are tired of hearing about it. So, I must write to the universe about it. Because the universe's eyes never glaze over when I talk. I think.

Here's the sordid tale. I write the query...which is basically a two paragraph summary of the book but with wit and spark and pizzazz and that special something that makes agents stand up and shout, "Hell Yes!" And after I write it, I read it over and say, "bleah" and I go to the internet and read queries by successful authors. And after every one I sit up and exclaim, I want to read that book! Because it is an incredible query and, likely, an incredible book. Then I go back to my query and it sounds like a steaming pile of boring crap. Which leads me to reflect that, compared to the brilliance of my examples, my book is probably a steaming pile of stupid drivel and why am I trying to get it published in the first place?

This could lead down the spiral of self-loathing, but, since I read mainstream fiction, I know that there are heaps and heaps of steaming piles of crap on the bookstore shelves. And my book isn't even that crappy. Actually, it's pretty good. So...I'm back to writing a query. but I can't say, "my book is as good as any of the terrible stuff you've already published," because that's a one way ticket to the cyber garbage can

So, I guess what I really need is a website with queries from mediocre books that were published.

Just. Out. Of. Reach.

So, I spent two weeks putting together a very specific Query for an agent. I definitely owe my editor a nice dinner. Finally, I had everything together and e-mailed it to her...only to have it bounce back...twice. Probably because her e-mail is already overflowing with Queries. Groan. Now you see why I self-publish.

It's not that I don't believe in the traditional publishing process. It makes sense that th

Whose voice is it anyway?

I listen to audiobooks in my car constantly.  I'm not sure I could get from one place to the other without someone blabbing at me. It's a good thing.


What is interesting is that if I am listening to a dark, suspenseful book, I find that I come home and write in a dark and suspenseful style.  And when I listen to a lighthearted chick book, that's how my voice comes out when I write.  I suppose that could mean that, over the years that it takes me to write and edit a book, what the end product ends up an inconsistent mish mash of styles. I'd like to think that it all evens out, but I have to wonder. I might not even notice! 

I also wonder who is really writing this book.  I suppose we take our inspiration from all things around us, but it just seems disingenuous. On the other hand, maybe taking the best of what I'm exposed to makes me better...or at least my writing better  We can hope.

Must. Get. Ball.

So, I spent two weeks putting together a very specific Query for an agent. Lots of formatting and fine-tuning. I definitely owe my editor a nice dinner. Finally, I had everything together and e-mailed it to her...only to have it bounce back...twice. No doubt because her e-mail is already overflowing with Queries. Groan. Now you see why I self-publish.

It's not that I don't believe in the traditional publishing process. It makes sense that the publishers --or someone-- sift through all the writing to make sure that only the best gets published. I've read a lot of self-published stuff in my quest to support indie writes, and there's a lot of mediocre stuff out there. Well, and a lot of garbage. But the system seems so back logged. Not that my writing is genius or anything, and maybe it isn't worthy of a publisher’s notice...but how can I get a publisher's notice if I can't even get it into someone's in-box? It's like I need an agent to get me to an agent. Thank God for self-publishing. Cause sometimes, that ball is just out of reach.

Your moment of Zen

Go get it!

Holy zombie paraphenalia Batman!

It's no secret...I've been spending a lot of time recently researching zombies. It's just one of the services I provide.

So I'm searching for cute zombies...not in the Justin Beiber way, just in the not-totally-disgusting way.

And I find myself looking at this:

Which is the most astonishingly weird thing I've come across in my whole zombie experience.

Just...ew! There are no more words for that. Other than, who wants this?

Who decides about the sequel...

Ok, admittedly, this photo doesn't have the most to do with the topic of my post, but as it is epic, I don't care overmuch.

Anyway, a few weeks ago, I had a post on my Star-crossed:Secrets Facebook page from a fan. Yes, ZOMG, I have a fan. Awesome sauce. So, this fan loves the books, loves the characters (YAY!) and is dying for a third book (yay.) Hmm, yeah, there could be a third book. There are ideas floating in my head that could make it to the written page. It didn't seem like the second book (Star-crossed:Journeys) caught on that well, so I moved on to a new project. But, since my one fan wants it (I'm thinking of Mel on Flight of the Conchordes,) I could make it happen.

Herein lies the dilemma, from the way that she was talking about the characters, I can tell that she wants the love story to resolve a certain way. In my own mind, it goes differently (think Edward v Jacob.) Yeah, I am God of the Star-crossed universe, but perhaps I should satisfy my one fan. On the other hand, that is probably not as satisfying to me and doesn't make me want to write the third book as much. Not sure what to do with this.

Anyway, just happy to have a fan. Yay! Now slow down and obey the road signs...or I will destroy you!