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Saturday, June 25, 2011

I got my own chicken now, B**ch!

And he's got a ski-do!

Alright! This is my side-splitting tale of how I got this insanely bizarre and totally impractical chicken (or seagull) and installed him on a ski-do... which is actually on wheels... Prepare for hilarity.

So, Roy verbally abused me and threatened my life and I went to an outlet mall and bought a seagull. And named him Justin Beiber. And put him on a ski-do. So he could sit in the park at Liberty Bay. And Roy shook his fist at me. And said, "Bam, Zoom, straight to the moon."

Yeah, that Blogess lady is still funnier than me.

But, really, this chicken/duck/seagull was sitting in Poulsbo Waterfront Park-- or whatever its new name is-- as we walk by with the dogs. You don't see that every day... especially since he is on a ski-do on wheels. When we come back around on our walk, this old couple is remote controlling him and using a relay to have him chat with children. And all I can say is, "don't follow that duck/chicken into a van, kiddies." Or a boat... even if it is a really nice one.

But weirder than the rich pedophiles, is the miles of plant/garland stuff that the Norwegian Mid-sommer celebrators have circled all around the park. The garland isn't weird. It's lovely. But on the garland, every five feet are signs that say "Danger. Stay off."

Ok, what kind of danger does a strand of garland pose? Is it electrified? Is it going to swoop up in a net and capture us all? Will knives shoot out of the pavilion if we step on it? It just leads me to question, what kind of effed up Viking terrorist celebration is this?"

And then I went home and had a drink.

1 comment:

  1. I would just like to say for the record that Laurel was joking about the domestic violence.

    And that duck totally needed a "free hugs" sign.